doctors orders

uqhh so i been sick at home for bout ah week now
cant leave the house ; doctors orders - said i should have
somethinq to occupy my time . soo since i've had

some extra time on my hands ive been able to qet back to my writinq .
honestly i dont know why i even stopped . . . seem like my notebook & my
handy dandy ink pen were the only people that would listen .

- - - - - - - - - -

its been about two months & some chanqe since i been on my
myspace paqe ; for personal reasons , but i decided to check it today for
some odd reason just had an urqe too . as im scrollinq down my comments &
messaqes i was kinda speechless of the bull shit that was written on my paqe & to
think i would actually stress over it . arquments w/ x qirlfriends - fiqhts between friends ,
niqqas that need to qet ah life [ that will be discussed on ah further date ] . but
seriously ; funny there was ah point in time where myspace was everythinq
type korny - - ah true myspace addict ; but now im so happy i qot rid of it , it just
caused so many problems & to look at the profiles of the qirls that i once arqued
w/ & to see that their still on that shit , its really sad & pathetic . when you set
your status about ah niqqa all your really doinq is playinq yourself out . . and
for the world to see at that . its not cute - qrow up !

question of the day

why are people only sorry after they fuck someone over ?


someone very close to me asked me that today ; & as much
as i wanted to answer it i couldnt because well its true . . .
people do thinqs to hurt people all the time & well when everythinqs
qoinq your way you dont mind , but then when you qet cauqht
then all of ah sudden your sorry . people dont think of the out
comes of their actions , what toll they may take on other people
& how they miqht react . its our own selfish reasons that we
have the term fuck over .

monday september 13 th

kurrently playinq : show me what im lookinq for

for ah first ; i really dont have anythinq to complain about . if life could qet any
better i would be in ah bath tub filled w/ ah million dollars - but until that happens
im pretty steady . an old friend use to tell me you have to qo throuqh the worse
of times before you qo thouqh the best , all thouqh im only 18 & i know the
worse of times are still to come , im pretty qrateful its just beinq put on hold
for the time beinq - so ill make the best of it . in my past bloqs ive talked about
not carinq about other people & livinq life for me . i never pursued any of it in my
mind ill believe i was ah hypocrit just words that made me feel i was beinq
ah better person , but ive realized i cant live life for other people . so as of
monday september 13th ive been doinq what makes me happy & so far i have
done ah pretty damn qood job .



ive put in less thouqht of what people think or rate of me i should say . im on
ah clear path to what i wanna do where i wanna be & most importantly
how to pursue it . im just one more human beinq cominq up from this cold world .
dont hate me to knock me down - i rather you hate me because you disaqree w/
who i am or what i do .

& sonqz is his name .

kurrently playinq : jupiter love - trey sonqz .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
all i ask for is one niqht ;]

simply torn

im torn between the two - my past & my present .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
afraid of the person i was
& the person i can become .


if i had the chance to qo back in time & rewrite my wronqs would i ?
if i had the power to undo every tear i ever dropped or anyone i ever hurt
should i ? ah wise man once said " everythinq happens for ah reason " whether
we aqree w/ the outcome or not .

qirl in the mirror . . .

rhea irenè taitt
yesterday . today . tomorrow

- - - - - - - - - - -

there's this girl in the mirror, i wonder who she is. sometimes i think i know
her and sometimes i wish i did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye.
when she's looking back at me i can tell . . she's hurting inside

entry one

kurrently playinq : drunk dialinq - curren$y & wiz khalifa



afraid to fall asleep lately my dreams have become niqhtmares,
if this world is cominq to an end heres my mind , body & soul to
spare . qave up on mr. riqht took ah knife & cut my heart out - have
no more tears to cry im deserted in this love drouqht . people i counted
on & trusted the most , just like rain drops in ah desert dried up &
dispersed . stuck w/ the thouqht in question who am i & what am i here
for but the answer is cuffed , chained up behind locked doors . use to
believe i was here for ah purpose sealed up in plastic qift wrapped like
toy soldiers - scared to open my eyes & see the person i have become
so i turn to alcohol for ah blur but the year 1991 states im too younq .
my dearly beloved & i have been apart so lonq i feel im lost in ah maze ,
im forced to deal w/ the bull shit no lonqer affiliated w/ mary janes haze .
ah sad addiction that was just ah phone call away made everythinq worry free
till i woke up the next day .