blahhh ; havnt really been feelinq myself lately . ive made some decisions recently & all thouqh i dont aqree w/ it at the time beinq i know i did it for ah qood reason , just wish i didnt feel like shit about it .
" i shut my eyes in order to see " - paul qauquin
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it just hit me today that christmas is riqht around the corner . usually im pretty excited countinq down the days but this year , not really lookinq forward to it . this year , somethinqs not quite there - feel like somethinq is missinq . christmas is about family & love & cherishinq moments but lately family love , & those precious moments has chanqed . im really hopinq this is just ah phase that will blow over in time <|3 .
" to be trusted , is ah qreater compliment than beinq loved . " - qeorqe mac donald
trust is so hard to earn , & even harder to keep . once its qone its qone forever - for the amount of trust you had for one another will never be the same .
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i opened up to someone of the opposite sex for the first & last time - thas ah promise . openinq up to someone is just as much as takinq ah chance . ah chance i took just so it could back fire in my face . it hurts , ALOT to know someone you trust & cared so much about could turn on you without even qivinq ah reason not even such as an explanation other then " i just had ah feelinq . " in the past i would of took this as ah fuck the world moment , but i refuse to take somethinq out on everybody for one person's doinq . i admit : im not the easiest person to be with , not only for my flaws & insecurities but because of the way i come off . beinq ah " bitch " isnt somethinq i would want to be considered as but what can i say if it fits ? i wont be the hypocrite to say i have chanqed or i qrew up but rather be the realest to say i have proqressed . i will consider this as another " fucked up " moment in my life & just like any other time , keep it movinq & learn from it .
" he told me he was ah HIGH achiever ; down for when i need em [ told me he'll make me fly] & by the end of the niqht , made me ah believer ! " - rhea irenè taitt .
&&hearts.; - - - - - - - - your heart beats faster , your hands qet clamy butterflies fills your stomach & your leqs start shakinq your mouth qets watery - while this heat sensation rises the wetness of his lips arouses thee ; the bodies friction is undeniable cant run from it cant hide it . his finqers slip to ah warm wet place , followed by ah liqht kiss . he notices your confidence cant help but be turned on then you qot em riqht where you want em ` .
currently playinq : doesnt mean anythinq - alicia keys
wake up in the morninq & hes the first thinq i think about till the time i qo to sleep . i send em cute little text messaqes throuqh out the day just to let em know im thinkinq about him . i will surprise em w/ little qifts just to show i appreciate him . ill hold hands w/ him in public so people know we dont hold nothinq back . ill shower him in kisses when he asks & ill qive him his space when its needed . ill keep my self up to make him proud of his qirl & ill dress down to show natural beauty . i want love ; the REAL kind of love but im in no rush to find it .
" you say that its love , but to me its lookinq counterfeit i qet done w/ one & move riqht on to another bitch " - wiz khalifa
today has been one hell of ah day & boy am i happy its over . i swear niqqas are just as badd as females if not worse , jealousy is known to be ah females disease but lately a lot of niqqas have been catchinq it . never have i ever met so many " qrown ass men " worried bout the next niqqa , its sad & pretty pathetic . ive never been the one to care for the next bitch , if shes doinq better than me then kudos for her but im not about to sweat you for that reason . the funny thinq is , it will be the quy who looks secure - filled w/ confidence up the ass . who flashes his money & his car but if you have your shit toqether why are you worried about it ?
money . cars & the clothes = isnt everythinq - - - - - - - - - there are actually some females in the world who look pass that & actually want you for what you are inside , if you decide to settle for less " thats ya business . "
couple of mixtapes have been leaked or already out . new additions to my playlist alonq w/ my favorite sonqs off thee albums . FIRST: tygablackthouqhts ___________
young money heaven or hell ice cream paint job better days ft. qudda qudda party qirl ft. lloyd kill toniqht
" all honesty , i believe tyqa has come alonq way coconut juice to kill toniqht . "
SECOND: waleattentiondeficit __________
beautiful bliss shades mirrors prescription
" not ah biq fan of wale , but im no hater - i can easily qive props when needed " THIRD: khalifadealorNOdeal _________
this plane riqht here favorite show ft. booqz booqetz superstar
" soo this album drops tomorrow , but was leaked out earlier this week . if i could i would put all 15 tracks down as my favorite , its ah hot cd - curren$y featured on the album "
FOURTH: sofarsoqucci __________
eastatlantaveqas uptown bird flu every freaky qirl in the world best pills i ever had throw it in the qucci baq
" dropped last thursday , yeah i been ridinq the qucci wave lately - BURR - pause . "
FIFTH: jcoletheWARMup ________
liqhts please dreams ft. brandon hines can i live & hold it down the badness ft. omen
" im not ah hypocrit , i admit i just qot up on j. cole last week . hes no kid cudi but i can add ah couple sonqs on my playlist "
waves i still refuse to ride - - - - - -
jay z . french montana . nicki minaj drake & soulja boy
" i need what the world cant qive me " - scott mescudi . currently playinq : i be hiqh <3
soo , i missed the american awards on abc toniqht - i heard kid cudi didnt win so it doesnt bother me . i was told there was a lot of interestinq performances & of course lady qaqa would be the one to take the cake ! im hopinq it re plays soon so i can watch it because well you tube isnt all that qreat ! randomkidcudivideo: its old but i still love the sonq crookers [ remix ]
currently playinq : follow me - kid cudi - - - - - - - - - - - this qoute was on my bestfriends paqe & i couldnt help but feel it makes sense . there are some thinqs in life you just cant have , sometimes its riqht in front you & it makes you mad ; knowinq you had it & now its qone , makes you wonder " how did it qo wronq ? " maybe this was suppose to happen , maybe it was fate , i hope at least for my sake it isnt too late . . .
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layinq down ; lonely hurt & confused . not knowinq the next step to take or even if i should take that step . maybe its better to stay where i am , nothinq qets better nothinq qets worse - just steady .
video review - - - - - - - - - sad to say beyoncè just doesnt do it for me anymore , ill qive her props she tried to cut down on the leotard in every video but she just couldnt over come it . i admit this video is different from her other ones . no dancers in this video & i like how she included lady qaqa . overall , i believe this was more of ah break for lady qaqa then beyoncè . all thouqh she tried , she showed off more of her sexy side " i quess you can call it " tryinq to out pop bey , but it was not her best work . beyoncè strives to be so different & most of the time she qets away w/ it & then there are times she just looks ridiculous . im NO hater - but bey qet it toqether !
sooo cudi is cominq out w/ ah second video from his album " man on the moon : the end of the day " & im so happy its pursuit of happiness - im soo in love w/ this sonq . i can only help but be impatient to see what he came up w/ for the theme for this video . im not ah biq fan of drake " at the moment " but i hear he appears in the video so i quess biq ups to him - blahhh .
kurrently playinq : white lies - mr. hudson - - - - - - - - -
so i know mr. hudson has been out for ah minute now & im just now tuninq into his music , but i cant stop playinq this sonq . its been on repeat for the past week now - feel like im kinda qoinq through it .
hmph , wheres that bitch called karma when i need her . this week has been ah very interestinq week & never did i think my past would come knockinq on my door , but there he was . im mixed up in this dilemma , not knowinq if i should keep on movinq forward or take ah chance .
im rick james BITCHHH . - - - - - - - - - pricless moments ; that you have to remember to keep your friendship alive .
october 31 , 2009 - is qoinq down as the second worse day ever . put ah little liquor in someones system & stay back & watch how people react . ah niqht that started w/ ah couple shots & mickey d`s ended beinq stranded on qeorqe st. downtown new brunswick . 2 a.m costume on , phoneless on the corner - you would think i was ah hooker , so you could only imaqine the feed back i was qettinq from the cars passinq by . if it wasnt for my friend who was just as half naked as i was , actually even more - i dont know what i would have done . we were able to have some qood times i admit - if you were in new brunswick & a car passed by yellin " im rick james BITCH " out the window - then yeahh that was us ;] - so i wasnt the indian princess or the qladiator that i wanted to be , i was ah pirate .
i dont know what the hell this is ; but usually drinkinq dark liquor after 3 cups im where i wanna be & then i need atleast two more to qet to where i need to be - but this had me qone the first cup .
notetoself : must buy this more often *
despite everythinq that happen , i still wouldnt chanqe my friends for the world <3
soo my mischief niqht isnt exactly what i planned but it was still somethinq . i was suppose to have ah niqht of adventure , instead i spent it w/ my 12 year old cousin . wasnt as bad as i thouqht it would be , honestly we had fun . maybe ah lil too much fun which im sure karma will come back to us when my mom finds the eqq carton missinq . soo after about two carton of eqqs & three rolls of toilet paper we made it back to my house - to find that i must of dropped my key durinq our mischievous pursuit . totally ASS'ed out , we was forced to climb back in thru my bedroom window . i should tell you how much i love the new decoration of mud & tracked dirt on my dressers & wall - qives the room ah nice touch - NOTTT !
well toniqht i will be scrubbinq my walls & vacuuminq my floor & cleaninq these babies -- so madd i stepped in ah puddle of water , my socks were soaked .
despite the downs of this niqht i still wouldnt chanqe anythinq about it . * lauqhs * who knew my little cousin had it in her - amazes me how this was all her idea . quess on halloween the lil devil comes out of us all .
mixtape leaked out today - - - - - - - - - - - lil wayne & cash money
just when i thouqht weezy couldnt kill it anymore ; he came back & murdered - scratch that , i meant demolished it ! i qive em props on the album but i would be lyinq if i thouqht this album was better then the drouqht 3 ; but i will be crayinq his music just the same . swaq surfin , wetter & his break up track has been on repeat all day . feel its qonna be that way for ah while . . .
kurrently playinq : holla if you need me - trey sonqz - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
just thinkinq how trey came ah lonq way , from havinq braids to sinqinq just qotta make it , to tats on his back sinqinq the hottest sonqs in the beedroom - trey DADDY i love it <3>
another priceless niqht w/ the biddies . i love my qirls to the absolute fullest ; we could be in sweats , broke & qrounded & still find ah way to have ah qood time .
amazes me how ah niqht of studyinq :
ended my niqht here
there is never ah dull moment when it comes to us , i can promise you . no one can amount to the amount of trouble we qet into when were all toqether . BREAKING NEWS: my cousin rolled her first blunt today & well . . . it was ah failed mission - haha .
hate to see you leave , ahh im HEATED . i dropped it ah couple days back . not only did my screen crack but its been actinq stupid ever since - wont even charqe all the way . sad to say its my third one - smh . & yess i named it bro-hamm ; drunk niqht lonq story . im really qonna miss this one , we pretty much been thru it all *tear;.
in other news . __________________________ .
this weekend was radd ; yeah i said it , RADD . i dont usually use this word but there is no way else to describe it . i was actually willinq to take the consequences of whatever happen & i must say it was ALL worth it .
p.s - miqht not hear from me for ah while , qrounded - means no computer ; BUMMER .
bURRRR , - - - - - - - - - my favorite season of them all
time to break out the north faces & uqqs . its sad to say im qoinq to miss my qladiator shoes , as my mother calls them & my flats , but it is that time as the wheather drops . fall & winter are my favorite seasons - mostly winter because i love the snow . cold air + no humidity = straiqht hair <3>
note to self : must buy pink uqqs &;hearts. what i dont like ; is shitty rainy days like today , kinda just screwed up my whole mood but i found out paranormal activity is playinq in jersey now . so im qoinq to try & see it toniqht , i heard the shit was crazy - leaves people sleepinq w/ one eye open . pray for me*;.
lady qaqa & kid cudi - - - - - - - - the tour dates have been released & honestly i dont think it could qet any better .
&tourDATES. - - - - - -
Nov 27 – Montreal, Quebec, Canada at The Bell Center Nov 28 – Toronto, Ontario, Canada at Air Canada Center Nov 29 – Ottawa, Ontario, Canada at Scotiabank Place Dec 01 – Boston, MA at Wang Center Dec 02 – Boston, MA at Wang Center Dec 03 – Camden, NJ at Susquehanna Dec 09 – Vancouver, BC, Canada at Queen Elizabeth Theatre Dec 10 – Vancouver, BC, Canada at Queen Elizabeth Theatre Dec 13 – San Francisco, CA at Bill Graham Civic Dec 18 – Las Vegas, NV at TBD Dec 19 – San Diego, CA at San Diego Sports Arena Dec 21 – Los Angeles, CA at Nokia Theatre Dec 29 – Atlanta, GA at Fox Theater Dec 31 – Miami, FL at Knight Center Jan 03 – Orlando, FL at The Hard Rock Jan 07 – St. Louis, MO at The Fox Jan 08 – Chicago, IL at Chicago Theatre Jan 09 – Chicago, IL at Chicago Theatre Jan 12 – Detroit, MI at Fox Theater *Jan 16 – Atlantic City, NJ at Borgata* Jan 20 – New York, NY at Radio City Music Hall *Jan 21 – New York, NY at Radio City Music Hall*
i am qoinq to try & attempt qoinq to it january 16 th , but it is my brothers birthday - BUMMER . so if anythinq im qoinq to the endinq day of the tour in new york .
so no one really knows , but i have the biqqest crush on mickey williams . im not the averaqe ipod listener , most the music i listen to other people dont & i love it . just for the fact i rather listen to cudi then jay-z or biq sean over drake & mickey over weezy any day . sensibility was the first track i heard from him , & absolutely just fell in love w/ it . next , it just so happen i found him in XXL the 10 freshman & have been hooked ever since . kinda cornyy but i have the maqazine hanqinq on my wall .
so i really wish this beef between them would end , both of their qroups are very talented & i hate to see them waist it like this . I am ah die hard pack fan , so much to the point where sometimes i feel wronq for even havinq the new boyz on my playlist - i will take her to my world , im in my carrr PAUSE ; had to do it <3 is kinda unnecessary but i quess boys will be boys .
follow @lilbthebasedgod . - he has tweeted at least 100 times ah day that he now has ah book out ; so its only riqht i qive em props . & you can check his new video out on worldstarhiphop .
number one sex - been on my itouch all day , i love LOVE love this sonq .
ok well what i wanted to bloq about today , i decided to put off until tomorrow or until the next time i decide to post it . I have been qettinq alot of unexpected feedback on my bloqs lately , & i love & very much so appreciate it . when i first started this i never really thouqht people would actually read this , i just used it because at the time i didnt really have anyone to talk to & well all thouqh ah computer cant talk back to me it can listen . i think i pretty much cover everythinq the averaqe bloqqer does ; music - fashion - love - celebrities but i also add my own life in it . my past bloqs i have talked about my ups & the majority of them my downs ! this is MY bloq paqe so i have no reason to suqar coat anythinq . my friend told me that i shouldnt put my life on here - everyone will know your business , but it really doesnt bother me . i feel as if the reader doesnt like or disaqree w/ what i write they can simply hit the [x] button & move on , but if they are interested there are many more to come . so this is to my readers & i love every sinqle one of you .
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well in other news , ah very qood friend of mine left to qo to the marines today . im qonna miss her & i wish her the best of luck . the crazy pictures we took lastniqht ; ilOve them <3>
& here we were kinda thinkinq final destination - haha .
note to self : i hate bloqqinq thru my itouch . - - - - - - - - - - -
some say i been slippinq on my bloqs , which i have been kinda busy qettinq my life back on track . im on ah smooth pace so i have ah extra time on my hands now ah days . in other news ; my favorite holiday is cominq up - HALLOWEEN , but im debatinq riqht now if i want to dress up . when do you say your to old to dress up is it the same aqe you realize santa clause isnt real . As of the moment im kinda iffy on the subject , if i dont dress up im just qonna qo to friqht fest w/ some of the qirls . if i do dress up i havnt decided between these two . . .
or
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the qladiator because its somethinq new ; & the indian because im just in love w/ the head piece lol
ill see you in hell , & back aqain . . . because i rather live my life w/ disappointments , because i rather have sad days then kodak moments . is it wronq when rainy days qive me closure
www.uknowbigsean.com i have mentioned big sean in one or two of my pasts blogs . he was siqned w/ kanye west GOOD label in 2007 ; and well his new video for " qetcha some " is cominq into affect . that hot new shit ; scratch off - that hot old shit ; hittinq the biq picture i admit i havnt been ah fan of his music till recently ; after his second mixtape dropped u know big sean - finally famous vol. 2 is when i recoqnized him as an talented artist . you can also check em out as ah supporter for kid qenius clothinq .
